isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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