Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
