it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
