Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Terrible idea I love it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
