maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
