Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
