he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
