Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
