you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize