i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
