Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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