The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We are all done wearing pants today
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
