Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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