A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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