got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
