i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Everclear isn't food dammit
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
