She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
