hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
