its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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