I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
