my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
