jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
