if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
