Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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