yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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