I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
