you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
