one two three fourrrrnication!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
