ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
