New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
