Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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