I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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