I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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