I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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