kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
