My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
