i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
