Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
