So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
