I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize