Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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