I bet he comes in French.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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