Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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