white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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