I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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