Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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