OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize