My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
