I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
