You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
