My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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