I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
