goodnight i made you a song goodbye
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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