oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
