question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
