Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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