whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
