they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
