im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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